4 feet 2 inches man arrested for public lewdness after sex with garden gnome
A Minnesota man was arrested this week after concerned Rochester residents noticed a naked man running around their neighborhood.
Michael Manners, 37, was intercepted by Rochester police while under the influence of crack cocaine, crystal meth, and after possibly ingesting glass cleaner.
Manners was found naked, passed out and unconscious when authorities arrived on the scene, but eyewitness report claims the 4 feet 2 inches man had been assaulting various domestic animals and even a plastic garden gnome.
“I first thought there were two dogs having sex in my back yard but then I realized a midget was having sex with my garden gnome,” one local resident told reporters.
“We were playing with the kids in the pool when this little naked person appeared out of nowhere with a garden gnome apparently stuck or attached to his penis,” one traumatized mother told local reporters.
Several local residents reported to police that Manners was seen trying to sexually assault several domestic pets before finally settling for the plastic garden gnome.
“I shot a video of the midget trying to sodomize my neighbor’s cat but YouTube took it down after 30 minutes,” another anonymous eyewitness told local reporters.
It took several hours before local police were able to locate Manners who had found refuge and fell asleep in a local resident’s dog house before he was intercepted by Rochester police.
Michael Manners faces multiple charges of indecency, public lewdness, and public intoxication and could face up to 18 months in jail according to legal experts.